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Thursday, January 21, 2010

Three

How you know you live with a three year old:

1.) Work is a place that you long for, not because of the paycheck or because you enjoy your job, but because it is someplace that you can go to where you are able to go to the bathroom by yourself.
2.) Being told "I don't like that" when you inform your child what is for dinner no longer offends you because they say that to every.single.thing.you.make. Even if they like it.
3.) Ellen and Opie from the alphabet song haunt your dreams.
4.) You find your self longingly dreaming of the terrible twos.
5.) Serious consideration has been given to enrolling your child in a case study for bipolar children, or possibly one for children with multiple personalities.
6.) You say things like, "We wear our shoes, not lick them" and "We pet the dog, not carry him around by his neck."
7.) You know the words to every Disney Princess movie, and they haunt you in your dreams too.
8.) Indecision and random changing of minds is part of your morning routine on a daily basis. In fact, it is a part of your daily routine on an hourly basis.
9.) Sometimes meals consist of enough food to feed a family of four, sometimes they consist of air and a scraped off corner of bread.
10.) Your child coming up to you and wrapping her arms around your neck, whispering in your ear "I love you eva and eva so much, Mama" makes you willing to put up with 10X worse shit than what is listed above.

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