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Wednesday, May 14, 2014


I always feel vaguely guilty about my lack of enjoyment of breakfast foods.  My ability to function in the mornings is as severely limited as an infant's ability to drive a car is, so any kind of food that takes actual preparation is out.  Plus, I never understood people who could eat like pancakes or waffles and then go work.  I usually drift into some kind of coma after eating those, either from the sugar in the syrup or the heaviness that goes with the territory of eating basically unleavened bread.  Seriously, a spoonful of flour is like the whole foods equivalent here folks.  I also generally find eggs to be the devil and always gag whenever I try to force their rubbery disgustingness between my lips.  Muffins are basically glorified cake and I am not so much a cake fan.  Cold cereal also makes me gag.  Bacon and eggs involve grease and that could be potentially a fire hazard before I have had my pot of coffee in the morning.  I usually settle for a handful of almonds or walnuts, mostly because the only effort I have to put forth there is to not miss my mouth and to chew.

I try to Skype with my niece in North Carolina at least on a weekly basis.  One could say that I am a good aunt, but really it is because I need her to like me because my children will most likely not pick out a good nursing home for me.  She totally waved to me today and I am pretty sure she rolled her eyes at me as well.  Just so long as she realizes that the good nursing home=I won't live with her, I think I am golden.

We got rid of our Directv earlier this month.  Best damn decision I have made in a while.  Still doesn't top the decision to stop using tartar control toothpaste so I don't get horrid canker sores anymore, but it definitely ranks up there.

I taught someone about the cognitive triangle today.  They called it the "magical triangle of wonder".  I am beginning to wonder if this means I need to wear an aluminum foil hat to work now.

I started new medications recently and upon obsessively reading the enclosed pamphlet (cause that is what the anxiety ridden do to see what awful things we can worry about next) I saw that I could potentially test positive for amphetamines now.  Fuck yeah.  If I am going to fail a drug test I want it to be for something unusual.  None of this marijuana or heroin shit.  I wanna fail for speed.