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Sunday, May 8, 2011

Slumber

I hold Charlie, with her head resting against my breast. Through heavy eyes, she looks around and focuses on my fingers. She sleepily reaches up and latches onto my index finger, pulling it close to her cheek as her eyes slowly drift downwards. Her other had works over the curly fur of Pink Puppy as she vigorously sucks on her pacifier. She snuggles in even closer to me as the sucking slows down and she drifts off to sleep.
She is completely trusting of me. It never even would occur to her to think that I might not be there to meet her every need. I can't mess up, as long as I give her her bottles when she demands them, smile and talk to her, cuddle her, change her diapers. She is so innocent, and I am entrusted with the care of this perfect human being. What did I ever do to deserve the love and the admiration that my children give me?
Even as they grow older, as they reach the preschool years like Alexis and the teenager years like Elizabeth; even as my flaws do become apparent to my children...they still love me. I am still their mother; I am still one of the most important people in their lives. The role that a mother figure plays in a child's life is huge, whether that be the person who gave birth or the person who raised them. The trust that a child has for this person is one that does not get replicated in any other relationship. It is truly unique.
My hopes for my children, as I sit and hold Charlie a little longer than was probably necessary to get her to fall asleep, are that they know that their mother will always be there for them and that they are able to take the love that I have given them and multiply it in their own lives. I want my children to remain forever innocent like the slumbering babe that I held in my arms, but I know that this will not happen. They will grow up, learn about all of the evil in the world, be hurt and devastated, and yes, even eventually get to the point where they think they might hate me. But the one constant that I can offer them as they navigate through this crazy thing called life is my love and support. I hope they can take that and multiply it in their own lives.
Happy Mother's Day!

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