Those of you who know me in real life know that according to my sleep habits and patterns, I am an adolescent at heart. If I could stay up until 2 or 3 AM and sleep till noon-ish, I would be super content. I am not a morning person, to the point where Elizabeth used to tentatively approach me when she would younger and ask, "Mommy, have you had your coffee yet?" I told Charles the first night I spent the night that I was not a morning person. He just laughed the way he did the time I told him about my aversion to laundry. The next morning he got out of bed to let his dog out, and I bit his head off: "Why are you getting up?" "To let the dog out." "Oh...zzzzzz".
I mention the above because part of the reason I left my previous employer was due to the commute. And also because it explains what I am about to reveal next. It at least gives some kind of rationale for my actions.
I decided today to attempt to find a different way to this particular office. I have to go through two small
Now. Let's just talk for a minute about what real-world talents I have. I can open a screw top beer on a picnic table or counter edge. I can tie shoes so they are less likely to come untied. I can soften brown sugar once it has gone hard.
I cannot find my way out of a paper bag. I have the navigational capabilities of a deaf drunk bat. People like me are why GPS were invented. To me, directions are similar to making gravy (another real world talent I lack.) Why bother when I can open a can or make my older sister do it? It is not like I do this that often. Same with directions. Why bother when I seldom go anyplace new and I can have a little nifty machine tell me in a pleasant female voice exactly what to do and when.
I have been to the city that this office is located in exactly four times. Three were to the exact same place (my children's pediatrician's other office.). I am not exactly familiar, is what I am trying to establish here. Even typing this out, I am questioning what kind of logic made me think that it would be a good idea to try to find this alternative route with nothing but my iphone to lead me. And since I still have not figured out the whole map app on my phone, it may as well have been paper directions.
I am that person who would drive around with the mapquest directions and accidentally hit the hobo on the side of the road as well as your dog too, all because I am trying to read and drive at the same time. I tend to multitask (five open...) and when you are going 55 MPH, eating yogurt is one thing but trying to read directions is another. Figure in the GPS. I am saving the hobo, and your little dog too.
Saving hobos and dogs. It's what your GPS can do for you. Why am I not in advertising?