E: I need money for a field trip.
Me: What field trip? When? Where is the permission slip? Where are you going?
E: Jesus. I just need $20 to listen to some guy talk about cancer. It's not like I'm going to buy cocaine with it. I don't even know what the going rate for cocaine is.
Me: Well, you are asking for money for a trip that I know nothing about. Yes, I am gonna question you. And $20 won't buy you coke. Maybe crack.
E: Is there a difference?
Me: Well, crack is cheaper coke. Like the Great Value brand of cocaine.
E: Hey...you buy Great Value stuff all the time...
Me: If I bought cocaine it would likely be crack. That's just good economics there.