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Saturday, August 20, 2016


There are a bunch of towels in this house.  Some I have purchased, some my mother has given us that were her old ones because she knows that my husband is a welder and will likely destroy any towel that comes near  his body simply by virtue of the grinding dust and God knows what else he brings home from work.  (She hasn't come up with any solutions for getting that shit out of my bathtub, but I guess one outta two ain't bad...)

I try to be all environmentally conscious and shit and have all of us reuse the towels multiple times (not the same one.  We each  have our own.  I'm not THAT environmentally conscious.  See: Welding dust.  Plus school age children and their cooties.  And my hatred of laundry.)  Despite this, we seem to run out of towels on a regular basis.

The culprit?

The teenager.

As much as I love my daughter to death, that child hoards towels like there's going to be a shortage at some point.  I will do a load of towels, fold them all nicely, and put them away (well, let's be honest, when I do fold them...they seem to be happy basement dwellers, living contentedly in their laundry baskets thankyouverymuch.)  They then disappear at an alarming rate and end up in Elizabeth's room.

How the hell this happens, I have no clue.  She is not home much anymore.  She's been working a lot before going off to college, and staying at her friend's in Sandusky (or so she says...she's an adult.  Trying not to helicopter here.  Much.)  She's never freaking home it seems.  Yet all the towels, they end up in her room.

This is going to end soon.  Soon, she will be gone.  The time she is at home will be less.  Holidays.  Summer vacation.  Then, in four short years...gone for good.  To make her own life.

I've been actively avoiding thinking about her leaving.  Hell, the same day that she moves in to college is the same day Charlie starts Kindergarden.  I always try not to think about that a freshman in college, one in Kindergarden.   I'm used to her being gone some of the time.  I've always had to share her with her father's family, and as hard as that was on me I always firmly believed that she had the right to know that side of the family and never withheld her from them.

It is hard to admit that the time has come to share her with the world.  But I've always been good at denial.

I still want to protect her.  To jump in and fix everything for her.  Well, as much as she would let me.  I raised her to think, to be independent.  To be fierce.  We essentially grew up together.  There is a mere 16 years between us...I was just a baby when she was born, really.  She already did the college thing with me...twice, in fact.  But now the roles are reversed.  And I won't be there to kiss her boo-boos.  To advocate on her behalf. To carefully allow her to fail, all the while being right there watching the whole time, as painful as it is to see.  Hell, even to scream at her and fight with her.  (We've had some doozies of fights, let me tell you...)  To laugh at her antics...cause lord knows, that child has a wicked sense of humor.  To beam with pride as I am told, over and over again, what a great kid she is, by all of the adults who come into contact with her.

I'm going to miss hunting for towels.

Remember, Elizabeth, very very hard:

Oh, why you look so sad?
The tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now

Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
Cause I've seen the dark side too

When the night falls on you
And you don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

I'll stand by you

I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

So, if you're mad, get mad!
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now

Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
But I'm alive like you

When you're standing at the crossroads 

And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
Cause even if you're wrong

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you

I'll stand by you 

Take me in into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you

And when, when the night falls on you baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

Take me in into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
Oh, I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you.

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