Review of Sunny D Vodka Seltzer Variety Pack:
Tangy Orange: Tell me how this is different from the original that I have already reviewed? I don't think that it is, but to test this I would have to buy both and that is way more alcohol than I want to have in my house solely for my consumption. Even though you could theoretically buy the 4 pack of the original and the 8 can variety pack and have 12 total which is the same amount as a 12 pack (like that math I did there? I've been helping Alexis with her Calculus so I felt like showing off...). But somehow it feels different. Plus more expensive and despite having adult money I'm still somehow broke as shit. So let's just say that the original review stands. Especially the part about financial freedom.
Orange Pineapple: This beverage tastes like I imagine the concept of a Nice Guy™ would taste if it were a flavor. It's pleasant enough. You will be willing to go out on multiple dates with this guy and you would have a nice enough time. It does not, however, make you excited enough to commit long-term because otherwise you will be destined for a life of mediocrity. You may as well have soup without any salt and flowers without any scent if you decide that this is your favorite drink. Just go on a few dates, enjoy the pleasantries, and move on with your life. And remember, you don't owe it anything just because it paid for dinner.
Orange Strawberry: I really feel like I either need to move on from flavored seltzers or these companies need to come up with different flavors because again, this is just a mediocre flavor. It does not excite my palate. I am not moved to write ballads or sonnets or even a particularly long review for this flavor. For those of you who are familiar with my Pure Romance days, this is the silver bullet of flavored seltzers. It's nothing sexy, but will reliably get the job done.
