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Thursday, January 27, 2011


Have you ever stopped to think about how many truly useless products we have in the US? Take, for example, the Chia Pet.

Who the fuck ever thought that it would be a good idea to take a ceramic sculpture and to spread some wet seeds that look like tar all over the top of it to grow into "fur" or "hair" or whatever? What purpose, besides being a colossal waste of money, does a Chia Pet have? And furthermore, what chance does a person like me have of ever actually being able to grow one of those things successfully? I mean, I am the woman who has actually been able to kill a hosta....without trying to kill it! Roses look at me and commit suicide. I have never ever been able to nurture a houseplant long enough for it to be decorative, let alone bloom or to have my cat eat it. (Annuals in my garden, however, are another story. I can grow the shit out of an annual. Anything that requires a longer term commitment, definitely a no go. Not quite sure what that says about me, but whatev.)

Another example: Those pads that you put on your feet to pull out the toxins. Really? Cause honestly, my feet are so callused that I highly doubt that a little sticky pad is going to pull sweat out of them, let alone heavy metals. Give me an invention that will stop my husband's feet from being the next weapon of mass destruction. Then we can talk.

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