Dear Rhinovirus,
I must say, I do not appreciate being taken hostage by your wily and unanticipated infection of my sinuses and throat. I do not appreciate the violation of my body. As someone who fully supports the right to bodily autonomy by ALL human beings, I must say that your hostile attempts to override my immune system is all the evidence I need to tell you that you are a hater. I hereby order you to vacate the premises and never to return.
Sincerely,
Management
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