Conversations IV

Elizabeth: So the plural of cactus is cacti, right?

Me: Uh, yeah???....

Elizabeth: So if Christians teach that Jesus is three people in one (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit) why don't we call him Jesi?

Alexis: Mommy, I wish I had a really long tongue. Like a frog. Or a horse...

Me: Why, so you can eat flies?

Alexis: No, so I can lick my nose.

Photographs

Apparently I take an obscene amount of pictures. At least this is what Elizabeth tells me on a regular basis. Every time that I reach for the camera to capture a moment, she rolls her eyes and I get the typical "Moooooooooooom! Do you HAVE to DO THAT?" Sometimes she tries to hide from me and sometimes she will make a face in an attempt to "ruin" the picture. However, like all teens, she has sorely underestimated the complete lack of coolness that her mother possesses and has yet to realize that protests such as these only serve to strengthen my resolve to capture the moment. Hence, the picture taking continues and I continue to obsessively (in her world, that is) document every waking moment of their lives. Her friends actually commented on it too. Just this last weekend, it started to hail outside. Like pretty good sized hail, enough of it that it would cover the grass and was bouncing around on the ground like little Mexican jumping beans. I, naturally, reached for the camera to take a picture of it. Her one friend said, in amazement, "I guess your mom really does take pictures of everything!" It baffles me. I truly did not think that I was bad about this. I guess I am known for being the one who pulls the camera out at family gatherings to take pictures of us pretending like we are a functional unit for short distinct periods of time. I also document the times when the facade falls and we show our true colors. Like the one time when my brother in law was dressed as a keg for Halloween and we took a picture of my then 8 year old daughter doing a keg stand (pretend, of course...she has enough time to get her technique down when she is in college. Parents shouldn't teach their children EVERYTHING, ya know...) I take pictures of my kids playing. I take pictures of us dyeing eggs for Easter, unwrapping presents at Christmas, having a fire in the yard during the summer, jumping in leaves in the fall. I do know this though...that in the future, there will be plenty of photos for my girls to go back and to look at. Even if it is only to talk about how insane their mother was with that damn camera.

Dealing

I am going to be without a vehicle soon. Hopefully, the situation is temporary. I am selling my Liberty to my brother and looking for a new ride. If the situation were different, I would totally go for some pimped out Hybrid cause that's how I roll (kinda crunchy, but with consumeristic tastes). Alas, our crushing mountain of debt prevents this, so I will be looking for a vehicle that we can pay cash for. If I don't find something by the end of the weekend that I like that is in my price range, I will have to use my in-laws' Ford Freestyle. This is a bit akin to Faust's deal with the devil. Past experiences have shown me that allowing them to do, well, ANYTHING for us gives them, in their book at least, a free ride to attempt to control every other aspect of our lives. Since I do not live according to that book, the story lines often don't mesh and you are left with a plot similar to that found in The Beast of the Yucca Flats (one hint as to who is the mutated monster in this analogy...it ain't me, that's fo shure...) So this means that we will have to wheel and deal our very best tomorrow. Ugh. I hate doing this. There is a reason that I am in the social sciences and not sales...I have a too soft heart. Hell, the salesman could probably tell me some sob story about his crippled child needing a major surgery that this commission will pay for and I would buy it. OK, maybe not really as I do desire to get out of debt and I am not that naive...but you get the drift. This is why I am so glad that we are not on the barter system anymore. I would totally get fucked regularly. And not in the good way, unfortunately...

Clarity

Who knew? You can wake up in the morning and feel rested. You can smile back at your baby...and mean it You can want to have sex again. You can see things just a little bit sharper. You can have clarity. Why didn't I do this a long time ago? I will have to live with Sjogren's for the rest of my life. I will have to live with Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome for the rest of my life. I will always be on blood thinners, have dry eyes, be prone to sinus infections and pneumonia and yeast infections. I will not have to feel like I am slogging through quicksand. I will be able to get 8 hours of sleep and not feel like I have to get about 8 more. Pills don't teach skills, this is true. But...pills do make you feel normal. And it is so easy to forget normal when you have not been normal for so long.