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Wednesday, December 28, 2011


More proof that my assertion that eventually IT people will be taking over the laptop recently took an elephant-sized shit and I have been freaking out more than a drug dealer on bath salts robbing a liquor store.  Seriously, if I had the opportunity to trade some sex for a fixed laptop...well, let's just say pass me the Cuervo and let's

Charlie is possibly the most devious child I know.  You try to put lotion on her and she acts as though you are dipping her in a vat of acid after rubbing her skin raw with sandpaper.  She has recently been having a particularly nasty flare-up of eczema.  She has prescription cream to put on it and I really think that she would rather be beaten with extension cords than have to experience the agony of having someone rub this on her person.  So Charles was giving her a bath tonight and told her when he got her out, "We need to put your cream on you."  She promptly began to giggle and squeal at her Daddy.  Guess who forgot the cream?  Score:  Charlie, 1; Parents: 0.

We may have started a new family tradition this year.  My sisters found lamb jammies for us to wear on Christmas Eve.  Me likey.  Nothing says Merry Christmas like having my gin-soaked ass being all comfy in some new warm jammies while simultaneously posing with my equally gin-soaked sisters in front of a life sized Santa doll (don't ask...)

I think that Twitter is my rock and roll.  Meaning that parents in the 50's didn't understand Elvis's gyrating pelvis; I am at a loss as to how expressing oneself in 140 characters became so popular.  Tweeting sounds like something that would occur in a really bad Disney after-school special.

Which probably just ages me even more...I don't think they have those anymore.  Fuck. When did 31 become old?

Maybe I can have a midlife crisis and go tweet about it...

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