Texting

Actual texting between Elizabeth and me:

E:  What time are you coming to get me?

Me:  What time they kicking yo ass out?

E:  What?

Me:  What time they kicking yo ass out?  In other words, when does Janel want you gone?

E:  She said whenever.

Me:  How about I send Charles when he is done burning?   (Clarification:  he was burning garbage, not in hell or like he was on fire or anything...)

E:  What time will that be?

Me:  I will inquire forthwith.

E:  Your (sic) messed up today lol

Me:  And I  have not even been drinking.  Charles says noonish.

E:  OK, so does that mean you have been drinking?

Me:  No, that would be irresponsible.  And vaguely alcoholic like.  But only if you attend meetings.  If not then you are just a drunk.

E:  Only vaguely?

Me:  Well it all hinges on the meeting attendance.  But I am not drinking so it is a moot point I think.

E:  Well alright then

Now THAT is some fantastic parenting there.  Where is my fucking award?