Reviews XVII

Review of Truly Brunch Pack Peach Bellini:

Well my hatred of all things alcoholic peach is well known. And if you don’t know, well, now you know it ranks right up there with most Katy Perry songs, stepping into water whilst wearing socks, and the alt-right in general. However…this is actually good. I did not want to immediately vomit while drinking this. So either I’m maturing and my peach-related PTSD is subsiding (doubtful…) or this is actually good. It doesn’t have that fake peach taste so many other drinks do. Maybe it’s the Bellini part? Idk. I ain’t fancy enough to know off hand what a Bellini is, though I totes googled it real quick. Anyways, drink this. You won’t be sad.
Review of Truly Brunch Pack Cran Sangria: Well, NGL I was nervous as fuck about this given past nefarious deeds Truly has committed with sangria (I’m still confused about the cinnamon…). This, however, is a delectable libation full of light, flavor, and happiness. If I was gonna start day drinking with breakfast, I’d totally go with this. Pairs well with brunch type food, except for eggs cause they are still the devil food.


Review of Truly Brunch Pack Orange Mimosa: this is a fun beverage. Like, you legit cannot be an upsetti spaghetti and consume this. Unless you are some sort of psychopath which means you’ve got bigger fish to fry than if this drink tickles your naughty parts. Undertones of orange, shockingly enough, with a hint of desperately holding onto this beverage with the same grip you are desperately holding onto the hope that the election swings in your favor so you don’t have to relocate at worst. Pairs well with belting out "Don't Stop Believing" despite your family's obvious chagrin and possible bleeding from their ears.


Review of Truly Brunch Pack Rosè: Well this is embarrassing. For this drink, that is. It sucks to be the sole mid beverage in a variety pack but here we are. This beverage has middle child energy…decent enough, but not enough effort put into it to make it truly amazing on its own so it has to work hard to over-compensate for the lack of attention and ends up with crippling anxiety and a desire to attain the unattainable approval of an absent parent so you end up in years of therapy only to realize that you are good enough, smart enough, and doggone it, people like me. It doesn’t matter what you pair with this or what undertones or notes it has cause no one notices anyways.