My husband, in his infinite wisdom, has realized one thing about me that has probably saved our marriage many times over....I NEED alone time like Michael Lohan NEEDS Lindsay to sprinkle cocaine on her cereal in the mornings so he can continue to indirectly stay in the spotlight. Charles is a Republican, after all, and they believe in trickle down economics. While I know that in the real world, this is a complete fallacy and they are totally lying to themselves in order to justify corporate welfare and tax breaks for people who don't need them, my husband knows that in the small kingdom of our household which I rule completely and (mostly) benevolently, if Mama ain't happy, NO ONE'S happy. Thus, his willingness to take off with the girls for an evening and part of the next day so I can be alone. Imagine the possibilities here...I can pee in peace! I can sleep for longer than an hour without either being awakened by the furnaceImeanhusband emitting enough heat to explain global warming or Alexis crying out in her sleep at imaginary slights committed in her dreams by the dogs. I can become totally absorbed in what I am reading online without being interrupted to watch something on TV, check homework/chores, or to find something that was not put where it was supposed to be put to avoid having to look for it in the first place....you get the drift.
What is significant for me here is not that my family goes away...it is that I deliberately do not make plans to go hang out with other people. I deliberately remain alone for those few hours. Sure, I may go get a haircut or go shopping...but I do all of this by myself. It is MY time, to do for ME, to think what I want to think and not have to worry about another person. It is something that everybody should do every now and then. It is my chance to reconnect with what is important, to listen to myself and to see what I need for a change.
I am just as guilty as every other mother on this planet of not putting myself first. I am guilty of ignoring my needs until they forcefully spew forth and HAVE to be addressed. However, I feel that the fact that I now am able to ASK for this time when I need it (even though it was supposed to be my present for my birthday back in December...) shows how much I have grown. I highly recommend it for all women. Give it a try!