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Thursday, December 24, 2009


Merry Christmas,everyone!

Tonight we go hang at my sister's for the annual gathering of the dysfunctional family unit, wherein we all drink copious amounts of alcohol and eat a lot of really unhealthy food and open presents from each other that was exactly what we asked for because none of us know each other well enough to even attempt to purchase something stemming from an original idea of our own. Most likely at some point my brother will call from Okinawa, where it is like 4 AM, to wish us a Merry Christmas and to make awkward conversation with all six of his siblings, all the while pretending he is not hung over and we are not wasted. I am sure at some point we will end up on the Internet, looking up very funny videos on youtube, because nothing says "celebrate the birth of your Savior" like Charlie the Unicorn and the literal version of Total Eclipse of the Heart or a Snuggie spoof. We may watch A Christmas Story, simply because the father in that movie is loosely based upon our own father, God rest his soul. Then my husband and I make the trek back to our house (40 min drive) to unload all the stuff we got, 9/10's of which is really packaging from the toys. Maybe this year we will be smart and take everything out of the boxes and leave with a Walmart shopping bag instead of requiring a small trailer and strapping the kids to the roof of the Jeep...Then onto the midnight service where we hope and pray that the children do not dissolve into heaping, screaming piles of over-sugared, over-tired, madness.

And I love every second of it. I think if we had a "normal" family who roasted chestnuts over an open fire, I would be bored out of my mind. Unless, of course, one of my brothers forgot to open the chimney flue and black smoke started to pour into the house and the fire department showed...nothing says Merry Christmas from the Lambkins family like black sooty children rolling around in the snow (or rather, muddy slush that it seems we will have this year instead of snow...what is this, year 12 without snow? Riiiiight, climate change is a myth....)

Merry Christmas!

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